What is considered committing excess in religion?

Wa alykum as-salaam,

Committing excess in religion is to mistake what is recommended as obligatory, to declare areas of doubtas unquestionable sin, and to overly amplify one’s virtues, rationalizing their vices, while judging others’ according to their own rubric when The Only True Judge is Almighty God, as The Qur’an states: “Is not God the most just of judges?” [95:8]

Your family’s unfortunate nickname stems from their fear for you, and while it is not the best way to express that, understand that and realize that you must be conscious of their fears without compromising your faith, which requires you to be modest about the progress you’ve made in strengthening your faith and to advice them through your example and to allay their fears through the betterment of your character and actions, not just through your prayers.

Finally, in regards to the ayah you mentioned (4:171), the warning against excess in religion is directed to “O followers of the Gospel! Do not overstep the bounds [of truth] in your religious beliefs, and do not say of God anything but the truth,” which is a preface to a warning against inserting man-made theological concepts into the simplicity of God’s Eternal Message, to have modesty of our ego, to strengthen our Faith and express that faith through our actions rather than just our thoughts.

The Qur’an concludes this advice with the following:

“…unto those who attained to faith and did good deeds He will grant their just rewards, and give them yet more out of His bounty; whereas those who felt too proud and gloried in their arrogance He will chastise with grievous suffering: and they shall find none to protect them from God, and none to bring them succour.” [4:173]

Please realize how damaging our arrogance can be, realize that our faith and righteous deeds are inexorably linked together, for the evidence of our faith in God is our actions to each other.

I pray this reaches you and your families in the best of health and Iman, insha Allah.