Mada’s Story

My name is Madalina. I am 22 years old revert from Europe and this is my story:

I was born in a Christian orthodox family but never felt like i identified with the Faith. Certain concepts and rituals in Christianity did not make sense to me. I had this connection with God that i could not name.

During high-school i went through many years of depression and self-denial. I could not understand why we are here; where we are going; what the purpose of this world is. I was living my life blindly. I was searching for my happiness in all the wrong places. All i could feel was pain and emptiness.

In the 10th grade i started to feel a calling towards Him. I was searching for my answers  in different belief systems but i never could find something that satisfy my heart and mind completely.

I felt this need to find the Truth. I felt restless and excited. My heart knew that soon a Path would be revealed.

After a few years i was preparing to go to university. i was choosing which domain i should follow. While i was coming out of the exam for the Communication sciences program a butterfly that has a very special meaning to me flew directly in front of my eyes. I didn’t think twice. I was convinced that was the program i wanted to follow.

During my first year of university i met a friend who introduced me to Islam. I slowly started to learn more about it and found the freedom, peace and balance that i always longed for in this Faith.

I was afraid about many things-wondering how my family would react, if i would be able to commit to my decision, if i am prepared to face the changes that would come. But when i took my shahadah i felt all these worries melting away. I knew that i have Allah and this Path. I knew i was finally Home alhamdulillah.

Everything that has happened since then further made me realize that all my life was leading me to that very moment. Everything i loved about the world, everything that i was curious about, everything that was lighting up my heart, my essence was calling for this Path. Everyday i learn something new and i fly in love again and again with Islam. It’s a life long journey. A constant struggle against my ego and the ones who try to put me down. But it is what i have always dreamed of. What makes life worth living. Walking ever nearer to and standing for the Truth.

Is not Allah sufficient for His servant? (The Holy Quran 39:36)

Nothing is meaningful except surrendering to Love. Do it! (Rumi)On the authority of Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him), who said that the Prophet (ﷺ) said:

Allah the Almighty said: I am as My servant thinks I am (1).

I am with him when he makes mention of Me. If he makes mention of Me to himself, I make mention of him to Myself; and if he makes mention of Me in an assembly, I make mention of him in an assembly better than it. And if he draws near to Me an arm’s length, I draw near to him a cubit, and if he draws near to Me a cubit, I draw near to him a fathom. And if he comes to Me walking, I go to him at speed. (1) Another possible rendering of the Arabic is: “I am as My servant expects Me to be”. The meaning is that forgiveness and acceptance of repentance by the Almighty is subject to His servant truly believing that He is forgiving and merciful. However, not to accompany such belief with right action would be to mock the Almighty.

It was related by al-Buhkari (also by Muslim, at-Tirmidhi and Ibn-Majah).